The Secret Theroputic files of SASUKE
by Blood Rain Falling
Summary: What you are about to witness are the files of therapy sessions between patient 7861, Uchiha Sasuke and his therapist while locked up in his mental ward. View discression is advised, BRING THE CHILDREN! BRING THE DOG! ALL KINDS OF FAMILY FUN!


**The information you are about to read are actual case files and recordings from patient number 7861. The patient has been known to show extreme fits of rage, strange emotional outbursts, random crying, and occasionally acting as though he had swallowed a severe amouth of psychodelic drugs. I have followed the patient since the day of admittance and I can say he is the most difficult case of my or anybodies career. My methods are unorthodox, my technique...questionable. But I have seen no other way of attempting of regaining the sanity of patient 7861, Uchiha Sasuke.**

**April 17 1999 (Audio recording)**

Myself: Ah, Sasuke, how are we doing today?

Sasuke: Just fine.

Myself: Just fine? Why not great?

Sasuke: That's a stupid question to ask isn't it?

Myself: Sasuke, there is no such thing as a stupid question. You and I have been over this.

Sasuke: Your right. Only the person asking the question has the lower intellegence.

Myself: You seem hostile today? Have you been taking you medication?

Sasuke: If you call that gaint of a man by the door, forcibly inserting a thumb sized pill in your asshole as taking your meds, yes. I have and let me tell you right now, I haven't enjoyed it. Or felt a tad more sane. HE'S A MAD-MAN!

Myself: Sasuke, the orderlies are-

Sasuke: Where's the order in a 6 foot 5, German talking fuck, inserting shit into your ass! He get's off on it I swear!

Myself: Did you have the nightmare again last night?

Sasuke: How could you tell?

Myself: You always tend to have a short fuse after your dreams. Kraus in no way likes to have to insert your medication rectally for you every single day.

Sasuke: Can't I get some normal pills? Something I can take without having to be raped everyday?

Myself: Absolutely not. How can you get over something traumatic without going through something more traumatic?

Sasuke: Fucking intensive therapy! But here I am, locked up in a prison. The only human contact I come into with is you, Anne-Frank's killer, Naruto, and that guy who thinks he's a toaster! And I just want to kill myself being locked in a room with some blond headed nut who keeps yelling "Believe it" at the top of his lungs.

Myself: We both know Mr. Uzumaki has some deep rooted issues with his parents. Expecially after the murder/suicide. Besides Kraus has brought you to his home on plenty of occasions to get out and about.

Sasuke: Yeah, true but have you seen the guys movie collection? He's got Schindler's List under comedy. Right next to Pearl Harbor and Step-Brothers.

Myself: We all enjoy diffrent things Sasuke. I personally like all my meat butchered alive infront of me, while I drink a glass of red wine and laugh.

Sasuke: Who is running this hospital?

Myself: You knock it off with that talk or we'll put the fucking leashes on, do you understand?

Sasuke: ...

Myself: Good. Now then, I'm going to through a list of people, and your going to react strongly in whatever emotion you feel toward them.

Sasuke: Whatever.

Myself: Here we go, ex-girlfriend, Sakura.

Sasuke: Bitch.

Myself: Ex-girlfriend, Ino.

Sasuke: Bigger bitch.

Myself: Naruto.

Sasuke: Fuck. That. Guy.

Myself: Kraus.

Sasuke: Undercover Nazi working in here to secretly take over and revive Hitler to exterminate the human race. Oh, and he get's off by shoving things up my anus.

Myself: *cough

Sasuke: What was that?

Myself: No, I did not say vagina, moving on.

Sasuke: ARGH!

Myself: Sasuke! Where you going? *giggles. Come on, I think we're making a break through over here!

**Several days later, after this interview took place. Interpol busted into the hospital and arrested Hier Kraus with conspiracy to commit war crimes in the name of the Nazi's. Who knew? You think you know someone and then they come back to bite you in the ass. We had to hire a brand new care-taker for Sasuke so we brought in well known Sadist, Mitarashi Anko.**

**April 25 1999 (Video footage, with sound.)**

Sasuke is seen sitting in his cell. It is a 6 by 6 padded room with a small hole in the floor for a bathroom. Currently he is sitting against the wall in his straight jacket, awaiting his medication period. His hair is mid back length and its standing up all over the place. His eyes are red from crying and screaming all night about his brother.

The door to his cell opens and Anko walks into frame.

"Wow, is it my birthday or something" Sasuke says, eyeing her up and down.

**Ms. Anko was not professionally dressed. But who am I to complain, I enjoy a bit of eye candy as much as the next guy, cause let's face it. This mental hospital is definately a sausage fest.**

Anko smiles and picks him up. "Not according to my file. But I do have a gift" she said sweetly and held up his pill. It was dark blue and about the size of an average persons thumb.

"Fuck" grumbled Sasuke.

"Just bend over for me please, and we'll get it done as soon as possible."

Sasuke moaned and pushed his face into to the padded wall. Anko's sweet smile formed into a sick grin as she gently nudged the pill inside of the boys ass. As soon as it was in there enough to stay, she ran back and bounced of the wall. Sasuke had no time to prepare as she forcibly kicked the pill up his intestines. The pill shot up and somehow made it's way up his syestem, where he threw it up, along with quite a bit of blood all over the padded floor.

"Oh god" he groaned. "Oh god!"

:"Oops" Anko said with a sickly sweet grin. "Looks like we're going to have to try again."

Sasuke looked up at her with criss-crossed eyes. "Is there anyway this could get any worse?"

Anko's smile widened as she opened up her doctors coat, revealing to him a pair of huge breasts and his worst nightmare. A strap-on.

Sasuke's scream shattered the lens of the camera, causing it to shut down.

**The only patient recorded to like his medication time now adays is Naruto, but we can't get into that detail because I'm not his current doctor. Well it seems visiting hours are over, you'll have to wait till next time you stop by to see anymore. Til next time I- OOH I found one more!**

**March 3 1999 (Video footage, with sound.)**

The looming figure of Kraus is shown dragging a sprawled out Sasuke by his foot. The boys nails dug into the tile floors. "NOOO, PLEASE! NO SHOWERS! I KNOW YOU AND YOUR PEOPLES FASCINATION WITH THEM! ITS A TRICK, GOD HELP ME!"

"BELIEVE IT!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

**That one always makes me laugh.**

* * *

**Please, don't ask me why. Don't ask me the purpose. It's just cause. Because I was bored. Because I may be on something. Because the demon in the corner isn't staring like HE SHOULD BE! asshole. **

**Anyway, will I update this? probably not, I will if I feel like it. Don't rely on this one for awhile**

**whatever,  
Blood Rain (The not so stoned anymore but still contemplative drunk)**


End file.
